“Adoption Is a Relationship of Love Not Seen Anywhere Else”
A birth mother and her partner, after placing two children in an open adoption, talk honestly about what people misunderstand about their choice, and why they'd tell other women considering adoption not to be afraid of it.
Why Open Adoption Felt Right
Greg* used a calloused hand to awkwardly rub tears from a sun-browned cheek. Greg had supported Carla as she placed two children for adoption.
The adoption was an open adoption, and the adoptive family regularly brought the toddlers to meet with Greg and Carla.
The young couple had just left the youngsters and were processing their feelings. They were more than willing to have me type their words.
What This Birth Mother Wants Other Women to Know
Greg: I am pretty appreciative of this experience. Women should know that it is okay to have adoption as an option, and they should consider it.
Carla: I’ve been contemplating about people who are unfamiliar with this choice. Do they look at it negatively? They don’t understand. My mother placed one of her five children for adoption. That child is living her best life, my older sister. Instead of being with my mom, she had a lot of love and focus on her. She grew up and joined the navy, and traveled the world. She married and has a home in Southern California. A circle showing me that open adoption is an answer. It helps the mother who can’t care properly and helps the family that wants to raise a child.
Greg: Please, mothers who are considering this is not a bad thing. This can actually be beneficial for everyone.
I think it is going to be accepted and appreciated more and more as we take down walls and become more open-minded.
We need to embrace the idea that it takes a village to raise a child. The world itself is a home for everyone. Our planet as a village, we can take care of the children and each other.
It is open. You never miss out. You can watch them. Your kids will love you for it because you are still part of it.
Carla: This is my turn. It is the best decision I could make for my children. I can see how happy they are and how perfectly placed they have been.
The (adoptive) parents have been a joy. Each of these days makes me know this is right.
Greg: Carla loves her children. I don’t know how to make that message clear to people. Women who place their children for adoption, they love them. I want to shout that and make people understand.
*names have been changed
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