Dear Birth Mother
An adoptive parent’s open letter to their children’s birth mother. This is not a how-to, but a real account of gratitude deepening over years, not fading.
Dear Birth Mother,
My words are weak. When I think of you, emotions well up inside me. Emotions that have no words.
Emotions that are so intensely filled with gratitude and an overwhelming sense of my own inadequacies to heal any pain you have.
I do remember my frustration
to silently listen as women complained about swollen feet, morning sickness, and bellies rubbing against the steering wheel.
I can’t imagine how you, as a birth mother,
feel when you silently listen as women complain about infants crying, toddlers refusing to eat, or long nights of teething. You would love to have those experiences with your child, but lovingly choose a different parenting plan.
At this point in my life,
I’m glad I didn’t produce children. I can’t imagine wanting anything more than these children we adopted, who are so much a part of you and so much a part of me.
And I continue to love you more.
As these children grow and prove how intelligent and independent they really can be, my gratitude to you has once again surfaced to the point I feel like crying.
Thank you.
You and I only have to look at this child to know we did something kind of special.
See also: Am I “Giving Up” My Baby, or Placing My Child? for the birth-mother side of this same relationship.
FAQ - Simple
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes. Many adoptive parents describe exactly this, especially as they watch their children grow into who they are.
Not necessarily. Writing it can be its own act of reflection and gratitude, whether or not it’s ever delivered.
Many use the agency or a platform like Our Hearts Connect, especially for something this personal.
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