SUPPORT FOR BIRTH MOTHERS

Types of Adoptions

Open Adoption, Semi-Open, Closed Adoption — as a birth mother, you decide what feels right for you and your baby.

Understanding the Different Types of Adoption

As a birth mother, you have the power.

You choose what type of adoption feels right for you and your baby.

At Heart to Heart Adoptions, we support whatever choices make you most comfortable. Let’s talk about the different types of adoption and how they can work for you.

Maria’s story

Maria’s story shows how flexible adoption can be: “I originally wanted a closed adoption. I didn’t even want to see the baby after birth. But when the time came, I asked to meet just the adoptive mom for a few minutes. We ended up talking for hours, and now we’re like family. Heart to Heart helped me feel comfortable changing my mind.”

Jessica’s Story

“I chose open adoption because I wanted to watch my daughter grow up,” says Jessica, age 19. “We use the Hearts Connect app to share photos and messages. Sometimes, we meet for lunch. She’s always happy and hugging Joyce (the adoptive mother), and Joyce encourages my little girl to love me. Seeing how happy she is with her family makes me feel at peace with my decision.”

Over the years, their bond has become like extended family.

Before the Birth: Your Choices

You get to decide:

If you want to meet adoptive families before giving birth
How many families you’d like to meet
If you want the adoptive family at the hospital
How much time you want to spend with your baby
Who you want in the delivery room

Semi-Open Adoption: Finding Middle Ground

Semi-open adoption gives you some contact while maintaining privacy. You might:

Share updates through Heart to Heart as an intermediary
Exchange letters and pictures occasionally
Use first names only
Communicate through the Hearts Connect app

Semi-open adoption provides a middle ground. You might exchange updates and photos with the adoptive family through a third party, like Heart to Heart Adoptions, or use an app to communicate without sharing personal contact details.

Open Adoption: Staying Connected

In an open adoption, you can have with the adoptive family. This might include:

Exchanging emails and phone calls
Sharing pictures and updates through our Hearts Connect app
Having in-person visits if you choose
Getting regular updates about your child’s life

Tessa’s Story

Tessa felt she needed updates but was afraid of weekly or even monthly contact. She felt this kind of contact might keep her looking back, and she wanted to start afresh.

When her son was about 16, she received a traditional Christmas greeting from them through Our Heart Connect. This notification wasn’t from the adoptive family as the ones from previous years had been. This greeting was directly from her son. Something changed in Tessa, and she decided she wanted to have more communication with the family and her son. From then on, they had much more openness.

Closed Adoption: Choosing Privacy

Some birth mothers prefer a closed adoption with no direct contact. This is completely okay, too. Your privacy will be respected, and you can still know your child is safe and loved.

Flexibility Through the Years

You can decide how open you want the relationship to be. Maybe you’d like weekly pictures or occasional updates through an app like Our Hearts Connect. The best part? You can adjust the level of contact as your life evolves. If you need more privacy or want to increase communication later, that’s okay too.

Your Choices, Your Path

Every adoption is unique because every birth mother and adoptive family is different. Some birth mothers want the adoptive family to be present at the hospital, while others prefer privacy during that time. Some choose to share the responsibility of caring for the baby in the first few days, creating a beautiful bond together. Others feel more comfortable letting the adoptive parents take over immediately.

There is no right or wrong way—only what feels right for you.

Remember, you can change your mind about the level of involvement at any point. We’re here to help navigate these changes. Whether you want more connection or more distance, tools like Our Hearts Connect make it easier to adjust over time. For instance, a child in their teenage years

Medical and Clinical Content By

Allie James

Senior Content Editor · Heart to Heart Adoptions

Last Reviewed: January 24, 2025