How Do I Know an Adoption Agency Is Ethical?
Ethical agencies acknowledge that unethical adoptions happen elsewhere in the industry, rather than pretending the problem doesn’t exist, and they don’t recruit birth mothers; situations come to them.
Adoption Is Meaningful Work—and Deeply Complicated
We’re an adoption agency.
Not an unethical adoption agency.
It’s the most incredible work in the world. It’s also very complicated and overwhelming. Not everyone agrees with adoption.
We know that. And we know why.
Acknowledging the Reality of Unethical Adoptions
We understand why adoption is problematic for some. Because there are unethical adoptions.
There are times when babies are acquired unethically.
There are times when women are pressured into placing a baby.
We know adoptees who have suffered terribly.
We are sorry.
We hate it when these incidents occur. We hate that unethical adoptions happen on any level.
Why Ethical Adoption Agencies Still Exist
Nevertheless, we continue to receive calls from pregnant women who feel compelled to place. We don’t recruit. These situations come to us.
These women have compelling stories. Their life experiences are unique. Often, there are significant heartaches. They are full of regret.
One thing they have in common is that they love their babies. The reasons they are pursuing a parenting plan, which includes adoption, are varied.
Learn more about how we support expectant mothers considering adoption
Consent, Support, and Thoughtful Adoption Planning
We NEVER even consider matching these women with a potential adoptive family until we, and the mother, are at ease with the plan.
Does this mean there won’t be grief? NO. There will be grief and regret, and questions.
Women say they are here to “give away their baby” or “give up their baby.” They are not giving up. They are coming up with a plan.
We provide ongoing support through the adoption plan and beyond.
You can read more about how ethical adoption planning works.
Confronting Harm Without Abandoning Responsibility
There are awful people in adoption. There are awful people in churches. There are awful people in corporations.
We’re not happy about the things we see. We fight against unethical adoptions.
But when people suggest adoption workers should all be volunteers, they don’t understand the complications involved. There is nothing part-time about taking care of women who are in such a difficult place in their lives.
The Invisible Labor Behind Ethical Adoption
We have women who work hours and hours supporting anxious birth mothers. Our team deals with scams.
In any given year, numerous women want housing and aren’t pregnant. Critics of adoption companies would say these women need help, and we should provide that help. Yes, they require support, and society has probably let them down. We get this. We get all of this.
We also recognize that scams are part of every business. We see plenty.
What Ethical Adoption Work Actually Requires
We also get that our expectant mothers need to be supported in mental health appointments, continuing education appointments. They travel to us when it’s convenient for them. Women give birth in the dark of night, and they need support. This all requires round-the-clock services from us.
Our workers need a livable wage, too. We do not work with an uneducated labor force. Besides dealing with birth mothers, they must also:
- Understand the legalities of adoption
- Know where to access health services
- Know where to access mental health services
- Find and maintain housing options
- Recognize financial availability
- Find and access post-adoption opportunities for birth mothers
- Understand home studies
- Screen and re-screen adoptive families
Learn more about how adoptive families are carefully screened and supported
We recognize the concerns surrounding adoptions. We try very hard to create something of grace through these concerns.
See also: How Do I Choose the Right Adoption Agency? for what to look for when evaluating agencies.
For Expectant Mothers
Learn more about how we support women considering adoption → Supporting expectant mothers through ethical adoption
For Process Transparency
Read more about what an ethical adoption process actually looks like → How ethical adoption planning works
Questions and Answers
Is unethical adoption real?
Yes. Unethical adoptions have occurred and caused real harm to birth parents and adoptees. Acknowledging this reality is essential.
How do ethical adoption agencies prevent unethical adoptions?
Ethical agencies prioritize informed consent, avoid coercion, provide counseling, and delay matching until a mother is fully at ease with her plan.
Does ethical adoption still involve grief?
Yes. Even when handled ethically, adoption can involve grief, regret, and complex emotions. Ethical agencies provide ongoing support.
Why do adoption agencies charge fees?
Ethical adoption requires licensed professionals, legal expertise, 24/7 support, and long-term services for birth mothers and families.
FAQ - Simple
Frequently Asked Questions
It's a fair concern, asking directly how an agency handles this is one of the best ways to evaluate them.
By prioritizing informed consent, avoiding coercion, and not matching a birth mother with a family until she feels at ease with the plan.
Yes. Even in the best circumstances, adoption can involve grief and complex emotions. Ethical agencies provide ongoing support for that.
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