Jada was still a year away from being a freshman in high school when she got pregnant.
Even though her relationship with the baby’s father had been short and abusive, Jada was happy to be pregnant. She felt a baby would be someone she could love and who would love her.
Jada’s mother was not nearly as happy with the idea of an infant.
The older woman had given birth to Jada in her early teens and knew the difficulties involved in raising a child. She had never quite dug herself out of poverty and did not want that for her daughter and granddaughter.
Her declining health heightened the soon-to-be grandmother’s uncertainty and fear. She had been diagnosed with a heart condition and was struggling to care for the 14-year-old, much less an infant.
Jada’s mother approached us at Heart to Heart and asked us to, please, convince the young girl that adoption would be the best parenting plan for the infant.
The frightened woman pleaded with us to talk to her child and explain how many problems come with having a newborn.
This wasn’t easy. We have never felt that we should pressure anyone into placing their child, even if the mother is a 14-year-old girl.
Rather than tell the pregnant child what to do, we sent her an independent counselor who could give her advice without a conflict of interest.
The counselor helped her explore parenting resources. They discussed diapers and feedings and upcoming schooling. They discussed Jada’s goals for the future and the goals she wanted for the yet-to-be-born child.
The mother and mother-to-be returned several weeks later, asking if we could find an adoptive family with some very specific qualifications.
We’ll update you in the next blog.