Dating After Placing a Child

 Adoption is an act of love.

When a woman is willing to go through the physical challenges and the disruption to her life and give birth to a child, all of us must take notice. It’s a miracle. And then to place that child with a couple who wants to love and raise a child. Life will never be the same. This child will always be a part of you and, by extension, will be part of any other intimate relationship you have. 

How and when do you tell a potential partner about your choice to place a child for adoption. 

  • Take your time. Just because you are not ready to rush out and date or tell others about your past life, doesn’t mean you are ashamed or negative in any way. 
  • Don’t feel forced into telling your story. You don’t have to. There will be a new normal after you place your child for adoption. We encourage recognizing a period of grief. There is a healing process that can not be hurried. You have the right to heal. There is no right way except what works for you.
  • Don’t open up about this part of your life unless you feel comfortable. Many birthmothers see the placement of their child as a special experience of love. They aren’t hiding the experience. They just feel sharing that experience too freely cheapens the magnitude of what occurred between a triad of people. 
  • Because you don’t tell, it doesn’t mean you are hiding. Telling some random dude something so personal is not necessary. However, it’s best to know a person’s reaction to such a sensitive subject before anything gets serious. 
  • Also, recognize the other person will need time and opportunity to understand your decision. 

 Remember, this is your journey. Let us know if we can help. 

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