Not a Typical Story. Hopefully, This Will Be Yours
The Smith’s adoption story is not standard, typical, or common, and we suggest you not use this as a model for how your adoption will go. However, it happened to them. Potentially this could happen to you.
“We were preparing to live through what others had,” Shawn admitted. “We’d heard all those stories about long wait times, frustrations, failed match, and then we had the opposite experience.”
The Smiths had been waiting six weeks when they were matched with a mother who lived across the country. A week and a half later, the mother was admitted to the hospital.
“We took a red-eye flight cross country and landed on Thanksgiving morning,” Shawn said. “We checked into a hotel a mile away from the hospital and walked over to meet our twins less than a day after they were born.”
As Shawn tells his story, the affection and respect he has for the birth mother is palatable. He describes spending a day with her and the two babies.
“She was so gracious, stepping back and wanting us to be with the boys. Telling us these were our boys and she didn’t want to intrude.”
The couple wanted the woman, the babies, and themselves to have a connection. “So, we pushed back the other way and stayed with her all day.
The day included understanding each other’s background, eating pizza, and cuddling two babies.
“We really, really liked her as a person,” Shawn said, “in addition to what she did for us.”
The new father is also appreciative of the sacrifices the birth mother made for the children as she carried them.
“She decided on adoption from the first, but she still took care of them,” Shawn said. “She was a casual smoker when she got pregnant, but she stopped. She used no substances, no alcohol. I have so much respect for her.”
Even the most perfect of adoptions can’t circumvent local and national laws. This meant that the couple needed to stay in the state where they picked up the babies until the conditions of ICPC (Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children) had been met. This typically takes two weeks.
“The maid service loved the babies,” Shawn laughed. “They’d fight over who cleaned our room.”
As the boys turn six months old, their personality differences become more pronounced.
“The one is always first on physical milestones. The other one is an emotional, sensitive little soul.”
Interestingly enough, the boys are identical twins with the same DNA; however, they were housed in separate sacks. This difference in the early environment of the womb resulted in appearance.
The milestones are celebrated by both the adoptive parents and the birth mother. They keep in contact through a HeartsConnect portal.
“This is a really personal way to communicate allowing all us the needed space,” Shawn said and then continued to explain how the birth mother was especially fond of receiving videos of the two little boys she so lovingly cared for.