Children and Birth Mothers Should Trust You

Want fascinating, human interest stories?

There are all kinds of great stories at an adoption agency. Between birthmothers and adoptive parents, we see the absolute best people in the world. Sometimes we see people when they aren’t at their best.

I want to tell you one of those stories about NOT at their best.

Confidentiality is especially important to us. We won’t tell your story. It’s your story.

However, we do want birth mothers and adoptive parents to listen to this story without identifying details.

The story is about a couple who didn’t keep their promise to the birth mother. They said they would send emails on a regular basis, and they didn’t.

If you are an adoptive family and you had trouble getting to an appointment, or sending a picture right on schedule, or canceled a meeting because of safety issues, don’t get defensive. We aren’t talking about you. We know life happens.  We know you will make things right.

We know you understand the importance of your children knowing they can trust you.

If the birth family can’t trust you, can your children trust you?

Right now we are talking about a family who didn’t hold up their end of the bargain. 

The adoptive family proved to be incredible parents. They gave their children great opportunities and a lot of love. However, they didn’t follow through on their promises to a birthmother.

And then that same birth mother was in a position where she needed to place another baby.

That adoptive family would like another child. How wonderful if those two children could be raised together.

 But it’s not going to happen because the adoptive parents didn’t follow through on their promises.

Life gets busy, buts it’s never too busy to send an email with attached pictures.

Birth mothers will never forget about the child they carried for nine months.

The love for their child will be there forever, and what a wonderful thing to have more people love a child.  Placing a child is not like the death of a child. The child is still here, and the birth family deserves to know about them and see that they are happy and well.

Adoptive parents, you don’t keep up communications because communicating with a birth mother might lead to another child. You communicate because it is the right thing to do.

There are so many types of open adoptions.

Some families celebrate holidays together and go to lunch. Others communicate directly with one another through texts and emails. Still, others use our agency to keep some anonymity between one another. Still, there are other birth mothers who choose to create more separation until they have adjusted their own life’s situation.

You need to be trustworthy. When your child meets with their birth family, whether that is next week or in years to come, you want the child to know YOU always kept your word.

 

 

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