Yes, if you read this blog you will recognize we post a lot about when NOT to adopt. We want every adoption to be successful.
So once again here’s a few concerns we have. These are couples we turn away suggesting they wait and re-exam their personal lives.
Six Bad Motivations for Adoption
Rescuing a child.
Children need a parent who wants them, not a parent who wants to be a savior. If you think you’re a savior, that attitude will permeate the relationship and no one, especially a teen, wants to feel eternally grateful. Children do not want to feel they “owe” you something for adopting them. No child wants to be a charity.
You’ve finally convinced your partner.
No. No. and No. Both of you should be ready to add to your family.
Adoption is your backup plan since you couldn’t conceive.
Adoption is different it is not second-best. Until you truly believe that, don’t adopt.
You think this will save your relationship.
Children actually put more strain on a relationship. Expecting a child to fix a relationship is totally unfair to the child and, quite frankly, unrealistic.
Those people pressuring you aren’t going to be feeding the baby at 2 in the morning. Those people pressuring you aren’t going to be trying to remember to send a sack lunch for the third-grade field trip. Those people pressuring you aren’t contributing to the insurance fund when the 17-year-old hits a parked car.
You want an heir.
Wanting someone to care for your estate, or to care for you as you age, is not a reason to bring a child into your home.
Look inside and make sure your reasoning is from a good place.